Monday, December 31, 2012

today not tomorrow.

I'd be lying if I said that this was not the best year of my life.  At least to some extent. Becoming a mom has been a dream of mine since I was just getting out of diapers myself.  Granted, when we were transitioning from 2004-2005, it was the greatest year because I knew I had met my soul mate.  When we went from 2007-2008, I had been living a life all my own post undergrad in the city of Boston, growing up. And when we entered 2011, I was a wife, another early-set goal from my childhood.  I guess the main theme here is, that I found (or realized) each year was "the best" because of milestones achieved.  The milestones I had envisioned, despite their timelines being something I could have planned.


For someone who is such a planner, it is definitely hard to live the mantra of "be present."  I like to look ahead, because of...well...I'm not sure why.  I have always been someone to look forward.  Maybe it's because of the unknown, maybe it's because I have hope for greater things. It's not a terrible thing to have goals after all.  But what I have learned from my family, my yoga practice, my counseling pursuit, myself....I have learned so much more is possible if I take what is today, and apply it to progression.


Many of my family members are a part of the phenomenon Crossfit.  A dynamic, eclectic arena for "forging elite fitness."  In fact most of the family owns one of the gyms or coaches at one, and have been a part of the movement for some time, aiding its relevance in our society's increased interest in unique training programs.  They inspire me, and their own students, and this stems from their pursuits in making change happen by progressing from where they are each day.  Benchmarks.


Since February 2008, I have been reciting "Ohm" and "Namaste" at classes and within myself, when I wanted to find a means of mental and physical stimulation amidst my bustling Boston 'newness.'  Yoga grants me so much opportunity to do a self-check in living day to day with gratitude.  It inspires me to progress in my positions and endurance, while never blaming myself for where my body may be each time I get on the mat.  Thankful.


I have worked in a variety of fields.  And while my résumé looks like a chopping block of six-month segments of these professional industries, I do not doubt that short periods provide impact on my life in significant ways professionally or personally.  Each job led me to the realization that I want to counsel others and perform within the mental health discipline.  A discipline which in itself, is broad enough that I could be working various roles as a therapist, too!  The academic path will soon come to a close, and then my skills will be put to the test.  It's a place that is very unknown to me, but a passion I have developed.  I am eager to offer myself on a broader scale, and truly on behalf of others in the coming years.   Listening.


Finally, why many would argue that this is my greatest year so far, would be because of my baby girl.  Elliot is unequivocally the physical transformation of my love for family and creation.  Mike and I are so thrilled, challenged, and awestruck by her each day.  Motherhood has gifted me with happiness, fear, independence, codependency, and enlightenment.  This experience is all on its own, and I am just trying to live it each day with acceptance for all the 'firsts' Elle continues to have.   Believing.


So what will 2013 have in store?  For a personal continued resolution of sorts - I want to live through the four words I mentioned above:  benchmarks, thankful, listening, and believing.  All of these can be expressed by living day to day, creating my happiness, and moving through the hard times in a present mindset.  Happy New Years to all of you readers out there; it's your life to love!

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