exception proves the rule

"They say home is where the heart is ..."
... so where does this leave me?


Happy New Year, by the way! Hopefully the first line there doesn't catch anybody off guard, or make it seem as if I'm sad about wishing I could be in 2 or 3 places at once. Christmas in Maine. It was just as it should have been. It actually proved to be more than wonderful, considering our parents hosting 7 others was seamless and joyous! It was such a treat to sit together on Christmas night and giggle at Mom who had to end up leaving the table with happy tears in her eyes, finally surrounded by all her immediate family, who were home for the holidays. Too cute.


The "others," as we labeled them for the weekend, enjoyed their newly-made stockings, and could only get away with rolling their eyes a couple of times at our quirky family traditions and "clique-esque" attitude. I hope it just made the three of them feel more included - we Michel's don't always know how weird we're acting, so we just assume anybody with us will act the same! (This may or may not be in direct reference to our first night home: 9 out to dinner at a big public restaurant, all of us loudly conversing, gallivanting amongst our beers and cheers.) Honestly, the entire weekend was a superb end to the festive season and really, to 2009.


Driving away from Maine, then, seemed a little more than strange and sad this time around. We had been involved in such good company, and I felt like my heartstrings were still tied up in the Christmas lights, yet Mike and I continued towards our home, where my heart also lies. I think that's why they call it heartache: because although there may be just one organ, the infinite love inside leaves little pieces of itself whereever you travel and share time with those who mean the most to you. It ached me so to leave my parents, my sisters, my dog and house; I ached to get back to the place I was trying to make my own.


Three days of work later, and it was another long weekend. (By the way, when's the next one?) On New Year's Eve I said goodbye, again, to a job I had been at for 10 months. It was meant to be interim, but the friendships made there will hopefully last far longer than my hours worked. It was a final separation from 2009, a definitive move into the new decade.


We headed up to Allentown to spend the 2010 celebration with a couple of friends. They had received much more snow than us in the week prior, so we were able to shoot off fireworks and sparklers that didn't need any extra glow other than the white blanket on the ground. The next day we simply hung out, relaxed, and met the new year with an utmost sense of calm. And while I don't usually make resolutions, I can only hope that future New Year celebrations would result in the same sense of tranquility and openess.


A heart in Maine, a heart in PA, a heart among friends. What of a new job? Would I find heart there? For the same childcare company I had worked for ten months ago, I began with them again this past Monday. It's amazing what you don't realize your heart is missing until it picks up the pieces where they were left. As mentioned, I found good companionship and value in the job I had made for myself while living in Pennsylvania so far. But, it was on this past Wednesday morning, when I was able to get in a toddler classroom again, that all the sentiments and joys of working with young children came flooding back to my veins. I do not believe that for my life, teaching is the goal. I offer up all of my gratitude and appreciation for what good teachers do every day of their careers. It's not for me. But the chance to work with kids again, to be watching them experience some of their first big moments (walking, speaking), that is something I don't believe I will ever tire of. Their first realizations that they exist, that their feelings matter, it's a unique time to be around them. More importantly, you realize how good it you had it when someone knocking over your block tower was the saddest part of your day. I would give anything for a two hour nap right now.


The heart is such a unique aspect of our being. Its primary functions may not be to commemorate, laugh or cry. But it does. All memories of our past and the riches we discover today are felt by our heart, and when we feel such things so profoundly, the heart really says it all. I have left pieces of it in different places, and for different people. Some people have taken advantage of my heart. But today, I am happy for its diffusion amidst my life experiences, I can recall on them whenever I want. I just use my heart to help me remember.