Believe you me, based on the past six months of unemployment, I am not the first person even I would normally turn to when searching for the rightfulness about regret. "Regret" in itself is a pretty negative word, and to assume that we need a little in our life, may in fact be coming from someone who is doubting even that assistance of mistakes. Would you, if you could, leave out regrets in your life by searching forward?
As far as my job stuff goes, I can honestly say that I would have searched ahead, sought out the career I wanted and taken the appropriate classes/life experiences ahead of time. Granted, this would probably have prevented me from meeting some wonderful coworkers, friends, and the like...so what can we take from these regretful regrettings....?
Clearly, this blog is just a mosh of questions. Doubts. Pending possible regrets turned upward? Let me face the inevitable this week: missing out on what is done (turned down from 2 jobs this past week). How to move along? "We are what we think, we think what we become." So true! So difficult to master. Mantras help. A mantra is a thought, phrase, feeling that you think either during a set time of the day, perhaps throughout if you can make the time. Positive is the message you claim to render, and at best your message to the universe is not only answered within a time frame you can work with....it's simply answered! A mantra is meditation's grandkid. It takes just as much effort, but is typically a sentence you murmur to yourself to compose constructive thought. "I work in a job that ties my diligence to my passions." "I work excitedly each day towards a steady, enjoyable profession." "I....???" How does doubt not creep itself in? How did I make this decision to attend school without being 100% sure of my career choices? Let's take a gander into other options, shall we? :
Counseling Psychologist (check)
Marriage and Family Therapist (check)
Nurse
Human Resources
Teacher
Childcare Administrator
Peace Corps Member
Nonprofit Administrator
Chef
Paralegal
Anyone's list could go on...and on...and...
This post could too.
Attempting not to feel self-destructive though certainly self-defeated. On a happier note, Thanksgiving was this past Thursday, and it was ventured by gobbling into Maine with Mike and my family. The wolfpack of ours is expanding with brethothed pairs, workaholics, and booming businesses. Life moves steadily along. Now if I can mantra my movement along this tightrope a little more steadily....
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
the age of wisdom
Certainly not as deliriously as I assumed I would be, I write a blog tonight from the comfort of my desk, in the warmth of a "November 1st heated" apartment, with gauze tucked below one of two recently pulled wisdom teeth. Recently -- as in 1o:00 a.m. this morning.
I was dreading this surgery, today. I never had any issues with my teeth as a kid -- well nothing out of the ordinary: only such matters claimed as "preventative in nature," but maybe it was just the dentists/orthodontists who call it "preventative in nature" ($$$). No cavities, though. Nothing pulled. Only braces for a year on my top row. Fortunately without the headgear to which I had friends succumb. Overall, my oral issues have been nil. The fact that all four of my wisdom teeth would need to come out appeared to me during the fall of 2006, however -- as I was amidst a big time application for the Peace Corps. As far as glitches go, that seemed to be one possible setback that may have been reason for my application to be wandering aimlessly among the appropiate governmental offices. (Or this is what I like to assume happened when I was informed hearing word of my status would take 8 weeks, when it in fact took about 20.) And despite never enjoying going to the dentist (really, who does?), I knew that as part of the extensive physical required for the application, seeing my former Dr. Wagner was in order.
Like a fool, I felt like collecting all my physical health tests in one solid week while at home over winter break. Dr. Wagner turned out to be the least of my problems (turns out the nurse who was a part of collecting samples of my blood was a serious hematomaniac -- I distinctly remember needing to get blood taken from either vein in either of my arms, and she had to do it six times for three viles. I couldn't straighten either of my arms for two days and the bruising looked like a had tried to catch dumbbells with my elbows.) But, I digress... Dr. Wagner informed me that he would need to make mention on the application that since I still had all four wisdom teeth, and there was definitely not room for safe growth, subsequent removal of the little buggers would have to happen "down the road."
"Down the road?" Granted, the Peace Corps is a monumental undertaking. At least two years of wonderful volunteer efforts; the first year without any visitors or visits home unless necessary; typically meeting and interacting with individuals and groups of other cultures, different foods, different lifestyles; all the while maintaining a key stance of independent living and not mingling with lots of other PC members, or perhaps on the site placement, none others. "Down the road" to me sounded like lightyears away and unnecessary to comment in regards to a pretty competitive life-changing opportunity. What would my wisdom-teeth sentence mean to those evaluating my physical well-being for their organization?
Following the dentistry-consult and waiting out the months of Peace Corps anticipation, my life turned in a few directions and while I was (so gladly!) accepted in the volunteer opportunity, my letter of approval arrived at my Boston doorstep after moving there just two weeks prior to work at a childcare company. I'm not one for actively letting others down, and I was committed to my job. The rest of my Peace Corps chances (for now) are history.
After that, I truly never gave much thought to my wisdom teeth. "Down the road" did turn out to be years of pain-free wisdom-teeth (damnit), and while I was in and out of a couple of childcare positions and an administrative stint when we first moved to PA, I never paid any more attention to the fact that the teeth could really be an issue someday.
As you know, this summer I left my most recent toddler teaching position to puruse a little bit of life changes and a little sanity in regards to my time outside of work. My top third molars, however were just deciding to come out and "play," and so within the week of leaving the childcare center (and my health insurance plan, of course), I had a consult with one of the top DMDs in the area. He was wonderfully honest, but kind, and not unlike Dr. Wagner was keen on the idea that the sooner I took the teeth out the better -- actually, after finding out I was the age of one of his own daughters, he was pretty surprised I hadn't been enouraged to have them removed when I was a teenager. Nevertheless, it was confirmed that the top two would be removed, and the bottom two would have to stay put. The lower wisdom teeth are so entangled in nerve bundles that my new doc warned me not to let any one else convince me they also needed removal for fear of (permanent) numbness in the gum. I don't go to the doctor's office for every little thing, so when something is strongly advised like that, I really listen!
So while the office friendly, and the DMD just enough nutty to make the consult entertaining, I worried -- what about the cost, here? I was on a limited plan for just the next month, and then would be getting married in September. Could I physically afford to wait to have the surgery done? Financially, it would save me nearly $2,500. So Dr. Moriconi assured me that I had likely a three-four month time frame before I would want to come in for either another consult, or the actual surgery (phew!), and that's exactly what happened up until November 1.
This time around, it didn't take much more than the support of family and friends to let me know that everything would be okay. And while I had never been put out before with any type of anesthesia, I definitely had a case of the jitters driving over with Mike this morning. But as we walked in, there weren't really any butterflies in my stomach, and I realized that it would probably be a quick procedure as promised, and I was ever glad that I had done research to find a DMD that desired the surgery on behalf of his patient, and not on his paycheck. Doctors Wagner and Moriconi are fortunately two professionals that haven't muddled my opinion of physical health.
Let's hope the two teeth removed today truly didn't contain all the "wisdom" I needed to figure that one out.
I was dreading this surgery, today. I never had any issues with my teeth as a kid -- well nothing out of the ordinary: only such matters claimed as "preventative in nature," but maybe it was just the dentists/orthodontists who call it "preventative in nature" ($$$). No cavities, though. Nothing pulled. Only braces for a year on my top row. Fortunately without the headgear to which I had friends succumb. Overall, my oral issues have been nil. The fact that all four of my wisdom teeth would need to come out appeared to me during the fall of 2006, however -- as I was amidst a big time application for the Peace Corps. As far as glitches go, that seemed to be one possible setback that may have been reason for my application to be wandering aimlessly among the appropiate governmental offices. (Or this is what I like to assume happened when I was informed hearing word of my status would take 8 weeks, when it in fact took about 20.) And despite never enjoying going to the dentist (really, who does?), I knew that as part of the extensive physical required for the application, seeing my former Dr. Wagner was in order.
Like a fool, I felt like collecting all my physical health tests in one solid week while at home over winter break. Dr. Wagner turned out to be the least of my problems (turns out the nurse who was a part of collecting samples of my blood was a serious hematomaniac -- I distinctly remember needing to get blood taken from either vein in either of my arms, and she had to do it six times for three viles. I couldn't straighten either of my arms for two days and the bruising looked like a had tried to catch dumbbells with my elbows.) But, I digress... Dr. Wagner informed me that he would need to make mention on the application that since I still had all four wisdom teeth, and there was definitely not room for safe growth, subsequent removal of the little buggers would have to happen "down the road."
"Down the road?" Granted, the Peace Corps is a monumental undertaking. At least two years of wonderful volunteer efforts; the first year without any visitors or visits home unless necessary; typically meeting and interacting with individuals and groups of other cultures, different foods, different lifestyles; all the while maintaining a key stance of independent living and not mingling with lots of other PC members, or perhaps on the site placement, none others. "Down the road" to me sounded like lightyears away and unnecessary to comment in regards to a pretty competitive life-changing opportunity. What would my wisdom-teeth sentence mean to those evaluating my physical well-being for their organization?
Following the dentistry-consult and waiting out the months of Peace Corps anticipation, my life turned in a few directions and while I was (so gladly!) accepted in the volunteer opportunity, my letter of approval arrived at my Boston doorstep after moving there just two weeks prior to work at a childcare company. I'm not one for actively letting others down, and I was committed to my job. The rest of my Peace Corps chances (for now) are history.
After that, I truly never gave much thought to my wisdom teeth. "Down the road" did turn out to be years of pain-free wisdom-teeth (damnit), and while I was in and out of a couple of childcare positions and an administrative stint when we first moved to PA, I never paid any more attention to the fact that the teeth could really be an issue someday.
As you know, this summer I left my most recent toddler teaching position to puruse a little bit of life changes and a little sanity in regards to my time outside of work. My top third molars, however were just deciding to come out and "play," and so within the week of leaving the childcare center (and my health insurance plan, of course), I had a consult with one of the top DMDs in the area. He was wonderfully honest, but kind, and not unlike Dr. Wagner was keen on the idea that the sooner I took the teeth out the better -- actually, after finding out I was the age of one of his own daughters, he was pretty surprised I hadn't been enouraged to have them removed when I was a teenager. Nevertheless, it was confirmed that the top two would be removed, and the bottom two would have to stay put. The lower wisdom teeth are so entangled in nerve bundles that my new doc warned me not to let any one else convince me they also needed removal for fear of (permanent) numbness in the gum. I don't go to the doctor's office for every little thing, so when something is strongly advised like that, I really listen!
So while the office friendly, and the DMD just enough nutty to make the consult entertaining, I worried -- what about the cost, here? I was on a limited plan for just the next month, and then would be getting married in September. Could I physically afford to wait to have the surgery done? Financially, it would save me nearly $2,500. So Dr. Moriconi assured me that I had likely a three-four month time frame before I would want to come in for either another consult, or the actual surgery (phew!), and that's exactly what happened up until November 1.
This time around, it didn't take much more than the support of family and friends to let me know that everything would be okay. And while I had never been put out before with any type of anesthesia, I definitely had a case of the jitters driving over with Mike this morning. But as we walked in, there weren't really any butterflies in my stomach, and I realized that it would probably be a quick procedure as promised, and I was ever glad that I had done research to find a DMD that desired the surgery on behalf of his patient, and not on his paycheck. Doctors Wagner and Moriconi are fortunately two professionals that haven't muddled my opinion of physical health.
Let's hope the two teeth removed today truly didn't contain all the "wisdom" I needed to figure that one out.
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