tabula rasa

Wouldn't you know? Just choosing the title and template for this blog has kept me at quite a standstill. (Turns out neither of them are extraordinary.) But, that's where I find myself a lot these days, in a standstill. And it's not out of sadness, or frustration, or boredom ... not out of any one thing, really. I think my main reason for stepping into this blogging world is out of the same overall sentiment - I desire establishment.


What do we have that sets ourselves up for permanence? For so long, you live your life in a series of moments. You might attend school, play team sports, go to college, take on side jobs, date. Not many of these moments lasts forever, so your mind continuously expects new challenges, new chapters of life, despite the fact that you may finally be ready to settle. Internally, you'll find a lot of what grounds you: family, friendships, passions. And on the outside all of those things encircle you, and keep you warm. But in the day-to-day, something as minimal like the "job right now" that you don't enjoy, can knock you completely off balance. Overall, I am healthy; I am earning money that is not generally wasted. I am in a relationship so secure, the permanence of our love constantly reminds me that love is the only entity I know of to be completely real and everlasting. There is no amount of knowledge that can be capped. Our bodies and emotions are always changing. Mother Earth and all she offers us is evolving, too. However, love, love is that one truth to which I can measure all other compenents of my life. Love is something with we which we all enter this world, and can in fact die without it. It is an established part of our survival. Surely, there are levels of love and ways in which it can be expressed both positively and negatively. Yet, it has always come to me in an exuberant light, and the degree to which I am feeling it, simulates my daily life.


It's funny, because it may seem like I have a million things to say. Yet this digital world may only be a place for self-reflection. Some may read along and then pass it by. Perhaps others will stick with me for a while. Hopefully, I stick with writing for a while. Nonetheless, if only one thing, this will be a space I provide for myself to contemplate and let go; and I assure any readers, that it will be a blog through which I will try to achieve, as always, a little bit of growth.