365.

It feels like it's been some time since I've written - and only since a friend of mine mentioned my blog today did I realize that it had been a little while ... I'm home with nothing to do anyways.


Hard to believe that next week will be Christmas and a mini vacation. Some things are planned, but most of it revolves around good eating, hanging with family, and introducing traditions to the new ones joining us around the tree. Mike and I will be meeting with our wedding pastor for the first time, and checking out our reception hall, so I may claim it as a working vacation - not sure yet. As I look over to my calendar pinned up beside me, it is strange to note there is not another page to turn. Time always seemingly "flies by," and yet so much does happen in a year. Take my personal life for example:


January to February I lived out the last couple of months at-home-again in Maine with the parents and a dog, working in a job I love (with kids), and packed up all personal belongings to move to the Philadelphia area. Not only would I be moving to my third state in two years, but I was finally moving in with Mike, my loving boyfriend of four and a half years for the first time. I was fortunate to obtain a job within two weeks, and have since made a couple of very close friends through that work. They are truly some great individuals, the kind who in a matter of months can make an impact in your life that is everlasting. They begrudgingly introduced the "outsider" to her first WaWa, pork roll, hoagies (no Carly, no mustard), and all these crazy "pikes" around the area that are disguised as highways, but none of them really connect to each other, or at the very least provide a direct way to get where you actually want to be. These coworkers have helped me adjust to this new, ridiculous environment (internally smiles). Along the way, we attended three magical weddings, had our families visit us, did I mention I waitressed for 3 months?, we became engaged, and Mike and I moved again in the fall, when he did get his official position within the company.


And the year isn't even up!
It's been a winding ride, and all the twists and turns have been acknowledged and appreciated. So much has been kindly received, and so much more will be given out in the new year. The new decade. And if so much has already happened in less than 365 days, imagine what these last two weeks will bring. Maybe that's another reason this time of year is always so special, because the brevity of its moments are never lackluster or hindered by the overflow of gratitude for making it through another year. Always more to come ...

let it snow!

As the bulk of seasons greetings will soon be upon us, I have realized why it feels so much earlier this year ... December is far too warm! I would like to say that it has been the move "down south" to Philly that has created this backwards weather for me, but alas, no precipitation has really stuck in my New England homeland, either. Surely, it would be a unique Christmas season without any white hitting the ground.


It is a mystery, figuring out all of these holiday plans in a new environment. Though I have been fortunate to live many places in my life, the holidays have always been surrounded by family and a cold winter. This Pennsylvania climate is all so different just hours south of where I normally sing "Ho, ho ho." Fortunately, Maine is in my Christmas future this year, as Mike (the hubby-to-be) and I spent the Thanksgiving holiday with his family, my soon-to-be second family. It was a wonderful week of filling our bellies, and filling our time with great conversation and new memories. Maine's Christmas will be equally great, as all 6 of us immediate family members will reunite for the first time since ... last Christmas? (Is that right?) Significant others and a dog make 10, it will be a bustling house full of elves for sure.


Since before Thanksgiving, local radio stations have been playing Christmas music nonstop - and I can't get enough. Hardly will I seek another genre during this time of year, as its overall spirit and joy enlightens me. Regardless of whichever holiday you may celebrate during the final month of the year, December bows to Janurary with great pride, spilling out all of its graciousness and generosity. New Year's Eve bookends the joyous celebration of the holidays, and its sentiment is no less vibrant than that of Christmas. So although the daylight is scarce, I always find myself singing along with corny carols amidst the headlights on the way home. It is hard to be bothered by traffic when you're belting "All I Want for Christmas" with Mariah Carey.


It's not just Christmas Day that is cause for such celebration this time of year. Some say the commercialization of the holiday is overwhelming, and from the parties, to the gift exchanges, to the charitable donations, it's true that the whole month is pretty much consumed by Christmas. The overwhelming aspect of it is that the spirit of it tends to get lost in its now more materialisitic nature. There is always a group of overly enthused decorators, but I like to believe at the core of it, they are trying to shine a little love on their world. I don't find it hard to appreciate the spirit of Christmas and giving, especially at the end of one's year. With winter in tow, Christmas kicks off the season in style. People come together and contribute to causes larger than themselves, and we look at what really matters to us all. There is no denying a grinch or two may arise, but even the Dr. Seuss character found his heart beating with glee in the end.


So here's to all the Christmas festivities coming your way (or Hannukah, or Kwanzaa). And no matter where you are, I hope you get the December you have been waiting for. Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

thanks or giving?

In a world full of local and global turmoil, recurring, depressing newscasts often outshine the tiny gems sparkling about: a neighborhood coats-for-kids drive at the grocery store down the street, a funny YouTube video starring a cat that just won't leave a police officer alone while he tries to write up a ticket. These clips are often seen at the end of a news broadcast, why? They're the little reminders at the end of each news show which tells us how they want us to be remembered, perhaps. Or at least they want you to feel a little picked up after dwelling in the stories surrounding our country's failing economy or scheming politicians. This is what I, and many others, wake up to each morning. I live quite routinely (certainly in the a.m.): I get up at the first indication of my alarm (nope! no snoozer here!), I brush and shower and comb my hair. After getting dressed I head to the kitchen for my much needed breakfast and glass of juice or milk, and then I sit down on the living room couch and turn on the television.


There are many other things one can watch in the morning besides the news, but personally I find the news to be much more gratifying. If it does for me one thing, it catches me up on the previous day's antics I may have missed. I try to check in on CNN's website throughout the day to peek and any eyecatching headlines, and rarely do I watch the evening broadcast. So, I find the morning is an entirely different kind of news show. It tends to indicate the start of my day, and I find that the chatty banter preliminarily wakes me up more than a shower alone. It gets me thinking. Surely, in markets like Philadelphia, to which I live closely, there are constant local shootings and criminal acts that eat up a chunk of airtime, but overall the morning crew is bubbly and willing to crack jokes at one another, because it's their morning, too. They've got to pull livelihood from somewhere, and a cup-a-joe doesn't equal positivity, it just intensifies whatever emotion you are feeling since you're more alert.


So, today's news marked the beginning of Turkey Week, and, appropiately there were some tidbits on Thanksgiving traditions and myths from over the years. The meteorologists seemed as if they just wanted to point out the up and coming grey skies that thicken around this time of year, but the vast sentiment around the newstation was rooted in peace. And those warm sentiments linger this week into that infamous fourth Thursday of November, this coming Thursday, and really kick off the Holiday Season. We give grace to our families who take us in, and we thank ourselves for getting through another chaotic year. Thanksgiving does just as it implies, it levels out the receiving and giving sides of a scale, and whether you have more to give this year, or more for which to be thankful, this day is for all of us. We have all made it through.


Can I just say: I wish to give more of myself in the coming year, whether it be physical volunteer time to others, or more availability to have phone dates with family and friends. I am so thankful for those who believe in me, and as the holiday spirit approaches, I feel their love and faith even more. I wish to give myself time aside each week for me-time. A bath, a book, a walk, I want to give myself the Carly I deserve. I am so thankful for the man who stands beside me, understanding that some solidarity does not equate loneliness, it is reconnection. I want to give back to the Earth that feeds me. Next summer I would like to be a part of a community garden, since I am without personal lot to seed, and that way I will feel even more connected to the ground which supports me every day. I am so thankful for Nature around me. Longer nights may mean shorter days, but it gives that much more appreciation and concentration of the available Vitamin D. I wish to give you all a gift, and that is a moment in which to thank yourselves. Thank someone or something in your life that has helped you - in the past day or in the past year, and set an intention to actively thank them. It may be your own body that has undergone some serious changes. It may be your colleague who makes your laugh when you're not as motivated to work today. It may be your dog who greets you every morning thinking the exact same thing, "I love you! My favorite person is awake!" All of these things are to be thanked, and please take this moment, this gift of time to do so.


Thankfulness is not a grand gesture, but its power is truly great.
Namaste, and be well.

3 chords and the truth

As I sit in front of the television watching the 43rd annual CMAs - Country Music Awards - in Nashville, I can't help but feel loved. Not from being on stage, not from singing my own music, or even from singing the music from the nominated and winning stars tonight. Tonight has just been a reminder of what country music does for me, and millions of other people - it reunites.


The title of this blog was a quote said by Harlan Howard, a monumental country music songwriter who died in 2002. His understanding of country music as "three chords and the truth" is certainly the greatest way in which I have seen this genre of music put to words. It's a style in which artists are free to be themselves, and their successes are largely granted by the fans for which their songs are written. If the material isn't real, a country fan will tell you. The average, everyday, hardworking, sometimes-struggling individual relates to these tales of love, family, and hardship.


I'm not saying that every country song or artist is going to be great. There are levels of "twang" and "honky tonk" to which you must accustom yourself! There's a definite redneck quality to the overall genre of country music. From the famous "South" and "good ol' drinkin'," I mean, it is a crazy, careless style that dwells in an atypical world. But the beauty of that world, those roots, is that everyone at the heart of this industry believes in it. Every artist tonight shows their true colors and supports each other immeasurably. How can a committee actually decipher between the Lady Antebellum and the Rascal Flatts? Regardless of who is victorious (Lady Antebellum, in this instance), the winner pays tribute to their fellow nominees, often going out of their way to thank them before any body else in their speech. The energy in the room, the love felt among all the groups and people there is so rich and so pure, it resonates through to its viewers. The whole night is encapsulated by total admiration of talent, and the overall celebration of music that holds so many truths.


And, at the end of the day, if something like the intangible, retiring Brooks and Dunn doesn't make you want to get up and dance ... I'm not sure there is anything I could say to help you understand.

"breathe in, let; breathe out, go"

Some people say that you find inner strength when you are in a state of weakness. Others may say that without all the bad days, the good ones wouldn't appear so good. With either philosophy, I believe our greatest asset is balance.


Surely, there are going to be times in your life when you're at an impass (note: first blog!). And there will be points during that process when you realize you might want to focus on the big picture. Okay, so I may not like driving through traffic every day, but overall, I am happy to be working. No, I don't always enjoy going to the gym at the end of a long day, but overall, it helps me stay healthy and energized. Then again, since when did the big picture matter more than the little things? "Don't sweat the small stuff," right? But what if the small stuff, the "sweat," is the work that life is all about?


Over the past few weeks in my Monday/Wednesday yoga class, our instructor begins and ends each practice with the same mantra. She says, "Note the feeling of breathing in as 'let' and breathing out as 'go.' " Any fellow students of yoga or meditation understand the importance of noticing the little things, and that trying to ignore them is how we can easily fall out of focus. There is no way to clear your mind of all distractions. There will be noises, lights, vibrations, all of which are sure to send a signal to your brain and trip your awareness. But if there is a constant turn to the breath, you will consistently be focused - even with all the "stuff" that may come in your way. "Breathe in, let; breathe out, go."


In our balance sequences, our teachers always remind us, "you don't need to fight it, wobbling is good!" At first, I never understood this, because I saw yoga like any athletic activity; I assumed there was a goal, a destination. The very first time I was going to get into Vrksasana (tree pose), I put my foot at the top of my thigh (after all I was plenty flexible to do so), and I got right back into position the second I began to waver and lose control. I was determined. In fact I was mad and embarrassed when I would begin to fall. In today's class, I stood in Vrksasana with my arms wide as strong tree branches, breathing deeply and working towards a slight back bend. However, each side of the pose was completely different. On the left side I kept my balancing foot at the base of my rooted leg next the calf. On the right, I was able to bring my left foot all the way to my inner right thigh. And like today, over the past two years, I have learned it's not about trying to get to a pose perfectly, it's about coming into and sustaining the feeling of a perfect pose, no matter what it took you to get there.


So I try to plan and look at life as a big picture. After all, there is a future in store. But more than ever, I try to remember that the small stuff is what puts that picture together. The small achievments will build up to larger ones, and this process of steps take us further than any obstacle could hinder.

tabula rasa

Wouldn't you know? Just choosing the title and template for this blog has kept me at quite a standstill. (Turns out neither of them are extraordinary.) But, that's where I find myself a lot these days, in a standstill. And it's not out of sadness, or frustration, or boredom ... not out of any one thing, really. I think my main reason for stepping into this blogging world is out of the same overall sentiment - I desire establishment.


What do we have that sets ourselves up for permanence? For so long, you live your life in a series of moments. You might attend school, play team sports, go to college, take on side jobs, date. Not many of these moments lasts forever, so your mind continuously expects new challenges, new chapters of life, despite the fact that you may finally be ready to settle. Internally, you'll find a lot of what grounds you: family, friendships, passions. And on the outside all of those things encircle you, and keep you warm. But in the day-to-day, something as minimal like the "job right now" that you don't enjoy, can knock you completely off balance. Overall, I am healthy; I am earning money that is not generally wasted. I am in a relationship so secure, the permanence of our love constantly reminds me that love is the only entity I know of to be completely real and everlasting. There is no amount of knowledge that can be capped. Our bodies and emotions are always changing. Mother Earth and all she offers us is evolving, too. However, love, love is that one truth to which I can measure all other compenents of my life. Love is something with we which we all enter this world, and can in fact die without it. It is an established part of our survival. Surely, there are levels of love and ways in which it can be expressed both positively and negatively. Yet, it has always come to me in an exuberant light, and the degree to which I am feeling it, simulates my daily life.


It's funny, because it may seem like I have a million things to say. Yet this digital world may only be a place for self-reflection. Some may read along and then pass it by. Perhaps others will stick with me for a while. Hopefully, I stick with writing for a while. Nonetheless, if only one thing, this will be a space I provide for myself to contemplate and let go; and I assure any readers, that it will be a blog through which I will try to achieve, as always, a little bit of growth.