I was going to title this blog "sabbatical," as there has been significant time off between now and my most recent rant. I was then going to title it "vacationland," - a quip on my excursions professionally, academically, personally, mentally, physically and so forth over the past couple of months, simultaneously highlighting Maine's glorious tag line that welcomes you as your cross the state. However, there was truly no vacationing as it would have indicated. Times are busier than ever -- in all the above listed areas! Synonyms for sabbatical included "withdrawal" which seemed too negative to pinpoint as my succinct return.
Leave of absence indicates the time, the multi-faceted presence of, well, absence. (Apparently my mind is still gone.) There has been a sufficient lack of schooling over the past two weeks - what does one expect of me when I do not type as often?! Work, however, has increased ten-fold. As mentioned last time, I am working with a struggling nonprofit, strengthened as I have learned, only by the passions among our staff - which is very few. We will be gaining a handful of interns for the summer, and will hopefully be welcoming back a couple of employees (who took their own leaves of absence - directly work related or no). This coming first week of May is our biggest fundraising effort yet. Not necessarily our biggest target for particular financials, but certainly our biggest output in getting our OSA name out there. Especially to the city of Philadelphia. What we're learning (ever slowly) is the harsh, hard feel of Philadelphians, residents and businesses alike, and figuring out our sell. Being so new to the City of Brotherly Love, OSA has mountains to climb before our name matters to these pholks. We're climbing, and hopefully after mid-May will still be on the ascent.
With more events and larger risks, my job at the organization has acquired a vast amount of responsibilities, including the daily reconnect with my boss who bases a lot the overall energy in the office on my disposition. A coworker happily referred to my attitude as a duck -- calm on the water, and feet paddling fiercly underneath -- which I felt was an apt analogy. I have always allowed my style of leadership to be second-to-one. Not to feel like I am inferior to another, but that my niche suits me well with that one supervisor a step ahead, or a step diagonally asking me for my better judgment. I feel in this niche with my boss, but as she intends to step back on her role for family, I figured the day was coming when she would propose a role shift for me to step even more into the "staff operations" limelight -- and today that day came. I have been given time to assess and report back to her; much of my decision will be based on the next few days in the office with pressures mounting on this week event we have beginning on Sunday. Today, I know that I do not desire the event-overseeing type of responsibilities with such a role, but I welcome the opportunity to manage. I am a bit of a vulnerable sap, and with the younger staff we have it may work to my advantage to develop this harder shell longitudinally.
I hope the following week brings us fortune in output, relationship-building, and sense of security. I trust that my thoughts at work and at home will offer me the chance to clarify my goals for our organization as a team and for myself.
I do not want to forget the kind of career I set out for myself when beginning school. Nonprofits thrill me in the their energy, but rebuilding one has been daunting. Acknowledging our stark weaknesses even more. I still believe what we create for our lives is as important as those who enter and shape it. Give me a bit more time on this, and I hope to create the life I want for me above anyone or anything else. Question is: will I most easily separate "me" from anything I create in regards to another entity like OSA?
