I'm done. This week is nearly over (work-wise), and thus, Turkey celebrations can begin with family, friends, pets, and so on. The school semester is now a couple weeks away from its end too; although, don't let me ever fool you that I dislike being back in school. I am reminded often on the drive home after lectures (like the one last night) that I am finally en route to what will be fulfilling for me professionally. We hear as we age compliments of our skills or personality characteristics that others observe, and then apply to jobs they believe we would do well in: counseling (check), nursing, teaching, rehab, etc. For me, the human services field has always resided within me, but I couldn't tap its energy until going back to school. I couldn't make it my own reality until I realized I was the one who needed to be proactive and make the reality possible. Spending time babysitting throughout childhood, teaching preschool and toddlers, or taking on an RA position in college allowed me to exercise the skills I think benefit counselors today - including mass communication techniques with various personalities - but I never realized the personal benefit in exercising these skills professionally until I met my husband, who is someone that sought a mate who works alongside him in the relationship and in the workforce. Mike shares with me his desire to build up with another the intellectual and financial base for our future family.
We are going to try and have a child in the next year or so, and for most who know me, this is a dream I knew would come to fruition because it was a reality I've wanted since I was young. Regardless of what others have ever said about my abilities to listen and empathize (making it now seem possible for me to counsel others), 'motherhood' was always an innate sense of belonging I felt within myself and the surrounding spirituality of what life offers. I feel grounded and empowered when I envision raising children, alongside a partner and husband who supports our life together emotionally and physcially. It is a truth I have yet to experience, but the only truth in my life of which I am 100% certain.
I am thankful for the time I've shared with Mike over the past 7 years, and it is my hope we continue to support each other individually, in our independent dreams and aspirations, because this embrace will continue to foster the unity of our future family. I am thankful for traveling up to New England for the holidays again this year - both Thanksgiving and Christmas - because our families' time in NH and ME are limited. I am thankful for my sisters who have their own supporters in life, encouraging them to be the best versions of themselves and for my sisters to be secure enough in doing the same towards their partners. I am thankful for the lessons I am learning by growing up and growing outwardly through other philosophies. I am thankful for the "everydays" that remind me of the special people I get to see all the time. PA is becoming more and more of a home, rather than just an interim; and I am grateful for feeling rooted in our journey as we carry on.
What are you thankful for?
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
the month of macintosh
In more ways than one, this past month was about the apple. Autumn has arrived, and to spend our 1st anniversary as a married couple, and to honor the start of this glorious season, we went to a nearby farm with friends to pick our galas, fuji, delicious, and other bushels of the fruit which defines this time of year. It was a wonderful day, although I don't know that Mike nor I had ever picked apples while sweating, batting off bugs, and wishing we had brought galoshes to tackle the puddles accumulated over the weeks before - at least we hadn't handled such circumstances all at once like this time around.
Nevertheless, we explored the market first at Shady Brook Farm in Newtown and Yardley. We went to this farm last year, and fell in love with the mass amounts of homemade apple cider (Mike), and their mass amount of homemade ice cream flavors (Carly - pumpkin, obviously). This time, Mike and I also filled up a basket full of their newest produce: kale, squash, tomatoes; we also invested in some interesting (despite not incredibly local) finds: figs, peach-pear currant, and a roasted garlic cheese spread. What splendors found at side stands! Although I can't let my delicate sidesteps into this culinary basket of treasures mask the size of Shady Brook. It is truly a wonderland -- they have a pumpkin festival along with a corn field maze throughout apple picking season, and by the holidays they construct huge metal sculptures which are lit up and exemplify the elves, holly, and Christmas cheer come winter. (Much like Lights on the Lake us SU alums remember, yes?!)
So, amidst our feasting eyes, we get up to the register, spilling our contents of glorious finds and ask excitedly about the apple picking. "There is none." (Yes, said so apathetically via the lips of a teenage boy bored to tears to be working on his precious Sunday). Me, so much more politely, "What do you mean? Is it...too early to pick? (September, not time of day)" "We lost most of our crop thanks to all the hurricanes." Oh Nooo!! How sad, and how unfortunate for them. What seems like pennies when paying for a bucket of apples at just about $10, surely Shady Brook was losing more than just fruit, but dough as well. We felt glad to be able to buy from their market, and enjoy some of their homemade goodies out on the picnic tables out front before reconvening with our friends.
"We passed another farm on our way up here," brilliantly told by our friends Lauren and Kyle. I guessed it was Styer Orchard, Mike and I had picked there with some 'Cuse visitors during one of our first falls in PA. Just down the road, we gave it a go, and hoped that despite the short distance, we'd be able to revel in the picking of our apple crop for the season. (Or at least the first batch). Fortunately, Styer's was not only open for business, but bumpin' with a crowd - likely some who also left Shady Brook to enjoy some fall festivities - and we ended up taking both a tractor ride and a schlep out to another section of the orchard for a different variety. Sticky and sweaty, it was well worth the trek - less than two weeks out from the pickin's and Mike and I had made 4 apple pies and an apple crisp. Even better, these make great gifts during this time of year, and so we offered them to friends who either couldn't make it that day, or had exciting news of their own (we have a couple pregnant with their first due around Easter time!)
It's no surprise this is a favorite time of year, and this apple picking adventure proved as much why. It involves some work, some friends, literally some fruit of one's labor, and a beautiful day away from the noise of technology and all other things modern; it just puts me specifically in a good place of nostalgia and thinking about the hard work such farmers do into getting their orchards primed.
On another level of Macintosh, and a slight switch from the above sentiment, Steve Jobs died last week, creator and innovator of the beloved Apple, Inc. An achiever, a hard worker, an inventor, a family man, a business pro, and a creative soulful genius, in many ways the world lost one of a kind when he passed. Obama pointed out interestingly enough on the very devices that catapulted our world into speed and accessibility was Jobs' death circulating. People come and go, but if you read up on the kind of person Jobs was, as a professional but even more as a human being, it's no wonder the world should be in some mourning. The video that has been most talked about, is the graduation speech he gave at Stanford over 6 years ago. Jobs recites 3 main chapters in his life which help enlighten the bystander into the kind of person and magician he really was. "..the only way to do great work is to love what you do...don't settle." And morbidly, but honestly: "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
As I sit here tonight and think about all the extra work I have been putting in at my job, and the papers I have looming in my head for the rest of the school semester, I remember this month of September into October as the month of the apple. A month that meant we lost a great person who changed our world, but reminded us that we are given the opportunities to enjoy ourselves with friends and family, and to do what we can to be happy and purposeful. Thank you to this magical month, and to the magical people I have in my life. So many more orchards to explore together!
Nevertheless, we explored the market first at Shady Brook Farm in Newtown and Yardley. We went to this farm last year, and fell in love with the mass amounts of homemade apple cider (Mike), and their mass amount of homemade ice cream flavors (Carly - pumpkin, obviously). This time, Mike and I also filled up a basket full of their newest produce: kale, squash, tomatoes; we also invested in some interesting (despite not incredibly local) finds: figs, peach-pear currant, and a roasted garlic cheese spread. What splendors found at side stands! Although I can't let my delicate sidesteps into this culinary basket of treasures mask the size of Shady Brook. It is truly a wonderland -- they have a pumpkin festival along with a corn field maze throughout apple picking season, and by the holidays they construct huge metal sculptures which are lit up and exemplify the elves, holly, and Christmas cheer come winter. (Much like Lights on the Lake us SU alums remember, yes?!)
So, amidst our feasting eyes, we get up to the register, spilling our contents of glorious finds and ask excitedly about the apple picking. "There is none." (Yes, said so apathetically via the lips of a teenage boy bored to tears to be working on his precious Sunday). Me, so much more politely, "What do you mean? Is it...too early to pick? (September, not time of day)" "We lost most of our crop thanks to all the hurricanes." Oh Nooo!! How sad, and how unfortunate for them. What seems like pennies when paying for a bucket of apples at just about $10, surely Shady Brook was losing more than just fruit, but dough as well. We felt glad to be able to buy from their market, and enjoy some of their homemade goodies out on the picnic tables out front before reconvening with our friends.
"We passed another farm on our way up here," brilliantly told by our friends Lauren and Kyle. I guessed it was Styer Orchard, Mike and I had picked there with some 'Cuse visitors during one of our first falls in PA. Just down the road, we gave it a go, and hoped that despite the short distance, we'd be able to revel in the picking of our apple crop for the season. (Or at least the first batch). Fortunately, Styer's was not only open for business, but bumpin' with a crowd - likely some who also left Shady Brook to enjoy some fall festivities - and we ended up taking both a tractor ride and a schlep out to another section of the orchard for a different variety. Sticky and sweaty, it was well worth the trek - less than two weeks out from the pickin's and Mike and I had made 4 apple pies and an apple crisp. Even better, these make great gifts during this time of year, and so we offered them to friends who either couldn't make it that day, or had exciting news of their own (we have a couple pregnant with their first due around Easter time!)
It's no surprise this is a favorite time of year, and this apple picking adventure proved as much why. It involves some work, some friends, literally some fruit of one's labor, and a beautiful day away from the noise of technology and all other things modern; it just puts me specifically in a good place of nostalgia and thinking about the hard work such farmers do into getting their orchards primed.
On another level of Macintosh, and a slight switch from the above sentiment, Steve Jobs died last week, creator and innovator of the beloved Apple, Inc. An achiever, a hard worker, an inventor, a family man, a business pro, and a creative soulful genius, in many ways the world lost one of a kind when he passed. Obama pointed out interestingly enough on the very devices that catapulted our world into speed and accessibility was Jobs' death circulating. People come and go, but if you read up on the kind of person Jobs was, as a professional but even more as a human being, it's no wonder the world should be in some mourning. The video that has been most talked about, is the graduation speech he gave at Stanford over 6 years ago. Jobs recites 3 main chapters in his life which help enlighten the bystander into the kind of person and magician he really was. "..the only way to do great work is to love what you do...don't settle." And morbidly, but honestly: "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
As I sit here tonight and think about all the extra work I have been putting in at my job, and the papers I have looming in my head for the rest of the school semester, I remember this month of September into October as the month of the apple. A month that meant we lost a great person who changed our world, but reminded us that we are given the opportunities to enjoy ourselves with friends and family, and to do what we can to be happy and purposeful. Thank you to this magical month, and to the magical people I have in my life. So many more orchards to explore together!
Friday, September 23, 2011
insomniacitation
Can't sleep tonight. Don't know if it's the end of a long week, a tired body from working out hard the past two days, or the two chocolate covered espresso beans I had at noon for a dessert at lunch. Can't sleep though, and that's the worst after a long week.
Tomorrow is thankfully Friday, and I get to delve into the weekend with Mike just lazing about watching out latest Netflix video (The Fighter), and yoga on Saturday - golf too if the weather holds out. Then on Sunday we will be celebrating a) the glorious season that is autumn and b) our 1-year anniversary by apple picking with some friends. Apples, homemade ice cream, this place has local wines you can buy, pumpkin patches, a hayride out to the orchards - should be great!
May all your weekends share in this sentiment of being with those you love, doing what you enjoy. Including sleep.
Tomorrow is thankfully Friday, and I get to delve into the weekend with Mike just lazing about watching out latest Netflix video (The Fighter), and yoga on Saturday - golf too if the weather holds out. Then on Sunday we will be celebrating a) the glorious season that is autumn and b) our 1-year anniversary by apple picking with some friends. Apples, homemade ice cream, this place has local wines you can buy, pumpkin patches, a hayride out to the orchards - should be great!
May all your weekends share in this sentiment of being with those you love, doing what you enjoy. Including sleep.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
less than 1 going on 30
This post is in honor of my parents - over three decades friends, and thirty years exactly (on Aug 22 tomorrow) as a married pair. Congrats!!!
As a newlywed myself (this counts until 1 year in, right?), their love and relationship has always been a strong foundation to which I referred during years of pining and heartache - between my husband Michael and me (and even the few, less-adored boys before him). One of the most memorable qualities of their love is that they are in fact, friends first and foremost. This connection has fostered growth, shared parenting, individual hobbies, and a unified front as an admirable couple.
Without them, my sisters and I would of course not be; without us, our others would not have formed our family's now-termed "wolfpack." To the fantastic couple known as Laurence and Annie, I wish you thirty+ years more to travel together in love and life, and allow us around you to marvel in your journey! All the best <3
As a newlywed myself (this counts until 1 year in, right?), their love and relationship has always been a strong foundation to which I referred during years of pining and heartache - between my husband Michael and me (and even the few, less-adored boys before him). One of the most memorable qualities of their love is that they are in fact, friends first and foremost. This connection has fostered growth, shared parenting, individual hobbies, and a unified front as an admirable couple.
Without them, my sisters and I would of course not be; without us, our others would not have formed our family's now-termed "wolfpack." To the fantastic couple known as Laurence and Annie, I wish you thirty+ years more to travel together in love and life, and allow us around you to marvel in your journey! All the best <3
Saturday, July 16, 2011
you could fry an egg
AC went out last week - again, the year's hottest week (same as last year) - only this time we hassled the new maintenance staff for not one, but two window units, and much to our delight they obliged. On top of that, they actually convinced our HVAC contractors to come out and work on installing a new unit all together; last year they may have just patched a broken wire to the compressor with some duct tape. Possibly scotch tape it was so inefficient.
AC and few other issues aside, our new site manager has been doing good things for the apartment complex. Our community garden is thriving - I just made a homemade ratatouille of sorts last night including homegrown peppers, tomatoes, parsley, and basil - delish! The pool offered a measley little hotdog for the July 4th holiday, but nevertheless we scarfed it down after a busy weekend of family time and fireworks that Monday off. The most recent exciting news related to the apartment is but of course an end in sight. On to bigger and ideally better things with buying a house! Turning the house into home will be our project, and the timing of it all is truly inescapably nervewracking...How long do we sign our apartment lease for now? When do houses around here sell the best? Fall and Spring. It is fall soon - do we look? How many? Our friends who do own homes already have generously offered realtors and their average home-looks before settling down and it seems to be at around 20-30. So shouldn't we start now? "Some weekends we'd look at 8 houses." HUH?! What a process. It will begin soon, but can't tell anyone how shortly it will take....
We're trying to give ourselves a good window through another winter in this place. Hopefully we'll be moving gradually if we can time things just right and get into a house by late winter/early spring. Oooh, maybe during my break for classes. That's a whole other year gone by, too which is hard to believe. My time off from work has been pleasant, and yet it starts up again soon! Next week I will be working oh so close to home, and with a healthcare company set up within an Independent & Assisted Living Facility. After speaking briefly with my sister who is a physical therapist, she exclaimed happily what this means to her -- that I can sooner move to MA and begin working with her in an office somewhere...I'll cover the Rehab Tech job down here for now and then we'll see about transitions to New England yet again :)
**Anecdote approaching** My sister Sara and I always had this infatuation to work together, in neighboring communities...She would live in the city writing next to my farm country house, and then we'd meet over lunch every day and I would (naturally) braid her hair for work every morning. It soon shifted into her writing for, and me taking pictures on behalf of National Geographic Magazine....It's no wonder something down the line may involve the pair of us. We've already lived together twice, maybe working alongside her wouldn't be the worst of it. ( :-P )
Anyways, it's good now to have the next month off academically and see what this new field of "mental health" (in a unique way) brings. We get to begin August doing what most Philadelphians do that we have not in over the 2 years living here -- my friend Dan and his family invited us to their shore house in Sea Isle, so we get to lay on sand this time and not bake in a chair poolside pretending to hear the ocean while splashing among fellow Meadowbrook residents! On to an amazing month full of beaching, jobbing, sistering, weddening (!), and friending with DC'ers up to our City of Brotherly Love. Come on, August - we've been waiting for you!
AC and few other issues aside, our new site manager has been doing good things for the apartment complex. Our community garden is thriving - I just made a homemade ratatouille of sorts last night including homegrown peppers, tomatoes, parsley, and basil - delish! The pool offered a measley little hotdog for the July 4th holiday, but nevertheless we scarfed it down after a busy weekend of family time and fireworks that Monday off. The most recent exciting news related to the apartment is but of course an end in sight. On to bigger and ideally better things with buying a house! Turning the house into home will be our project, and the timing of it all is truly inescapably nervewracking...How long do we sign our apartment lease for now? When do houses around here sell the best? Fall and Spring. It is fall soon - do we look? How many? Our friends who do own homes already have generously offered realtors and their average home-looks before settling down and it seems to be at around 20-30. So shouldn't we start now? "Some weekends we'd look at 8 houses." HUH?! What a process. It will begin soon, but can't tell anyone how shortly it will take....
We're trying to give ourselves a good window through another winter in this place. Hopefully we'll be moving gradually if we can time things just right and get into a house by late winter/early spring. Oooh, maybe during my break for classes. That's a whole other year gone by, too which is hard to believe. My time off from work has been pleasant, and yet it starts up again soon! Next week I will be working oh so close to home, and with a healthcare company set up within an Independent & Assisted Living Facility. After speaking briefly with my sister who is a physical therapist, she exclaimed happily what this means to her -- that I can sooner move to MA and begin working with her in an office somewhere...I'll cover the Rehab Tech job down here for now and then we'll see about transitions to New England yet again :)
**Anecdote approaching** My sister Sara and I always had this infatuation to work together, in neighboring communities...She would live in the city writing next to my farm country house, and then we'd meet over lunch every day and I would (naturally) braid her hair for work every morning. It soon shifted into her writing for, and me taking pictures on behalf of National Geographic Magazine....It's no wonder something down the line may involve the pair of us. We've already lived together twice, maybe working alongside her wouldn't be the worst of it. ( :-P )
Anyways, it's good now to have the next month off academically and see what this new field of "mental health" (in a unique way) brings. We get to begin August doing what most Philadelphians do that we have not in over the 2 years living here -- my friend Dan and his family invited us to their shore house in Sea Isle, so we get to lay on sand this time and not bake in a chair poolside pretending to hear the ocean while splashing among fellow Meadowbrook residents! On to an amazing month full of beaching, jobbing, sistering, weddening (!), and friending with DC'ers up to our City of Brotherly Love. Come on, August - we've been waiting for you!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
the first of many
The first new day since yesterday. Sounds too simple, but it's true! The first new day until I have another first tomorrow.
Not much time to deliberate in this post, because I need to get back to studying and reading up on how to apply techniques of Counseling; I will be videotaping my 'therapist-self' with a classmate today before presenting our role plays next week. It seems so strange to still be so nervous, but without much application in this kind of setting, I know too little to feel confident! Like Goethe said, "Knowing is not enough, we must apply." Let's figure this one out...
But this new day, new chapter, new job hunting. Anyone hiring? :) I am so glad to have found this place again because it's still a comfortable place to be - to be searching for something else. My planning style? Always lightyears ahead. Taking the physical time to look for work again and be in school/classes, it helps hold me more in the present moment than I often allow myself to be. Fortunately, Mike is a present-moment partner, ever supportive, and listens to where or why I take my future plans. He associates those long-distance goals to today's actions, and I think of it like an exercise routine.
Say you want to lose 10 lbs, and you envision yourself there. You walk through the Old Navy or Target and pick up that Small T-shirt, sighing to yourself with a smile that you will get there. But if you don't alter the portions or up the veggies in your eating habits, and walk with a purpose, or play tennis to literally sweat some of those changed calories, what can change? How will you reach a goal without putting steps and stretching and the time into them? My girlfriend Lindsey came to visit last night and discussed how another friend of hers seems to have everything professionally and personally "fall into place." Lindsey is also moving forward with great conviction in earning a fantastic career move for herself, and living for the first time with her boyfriend back in NY. Her life could not have fallen more into place because she lived through the other experiences to get there.
The same applies to me, in that I can't keep spinning a possible future outcome to connect with my present-day activities; rather, I need to create the life I want now each day, so that my future remains full of days and moments that carry out exactly as I envisioned from this moment.
Good luck on YOUR day today, because it is best start to achieving what you want in this moment!
Not much time to deliberate in this post, because I need to get back to studying and reading up on how to apply techniques of Counseling; I will be videotaping my 'therapist-self' with a classmate today before presenting our role plays next week. It seems so strange to still be so nervous, but without much application in this kind of setting, I know too little to feel confident! Like Goethe said, "Knowing is not enough, we must apply." Let's figure this one out...
But this new day, new chapter, new job hunting. Anyone hiring? :) I am so glad to have found this place again because it's still a comfortable place to be - to be searching for something else. My planning style? Always lightyears ahead. Taking the physical time to look for work again and be in school/classes, it helps hold me more in the present moment than I often allow myself to be. Fortunately, Mike is a present-moment partner, ever supportive, and listens to where or why I take my future plans. He associates those long-distance goals to today's actions, and I think of it like an exercise routine.
Say you want to lose 10 lbs, and you envision yourself there. You walk through the Old Navy or Target and pick up that Small T-shirt, sighing to yourself with a smile that you will get there. But if you don't alter the portions or up the veggies in your eating habits, and walk with a purpose, or play tennis to literally sweat some of those changed calories, what can change? How will you reach a goal without putting steps and stretching and the time into them? My girlfriend Lindsey came to visit last night and discussed how another friend of hers seems to have everything professionally and personally "fall into place." Lindsey is also moving forward with great conviction in earning a fantastic career move for herself, and living for the first time with her boyfriend back in NY. Her life could not have fallen more into place because she lived through the other experiences to get there.
The same applies to me, in that I can't keep spinning a possible future outcome to connect with my present-day activities; rather, I need to create the life I want now each day, so that my future remains full of days and moments that carry out exactly as I envisioned from this moment.
Good luck on YOUR day today, because it is best start to achieving what you want in this moment!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
a check-in
Important Goings-on: (Well, at least goings-on)
Leaving OSA June 15
Friend Lindsey here that night (phew!) on her way back to NY
Searching jobs again, but -
- so glad to be in school with a focus on what matters to whatever career I will have
ME this weekend for A+N's engagement party
Finished a fab weekend with friends, M+W, home gardening/cooking, shopping, and HW
Yes, HW!
Talk soon.
Leaving OSA June 15
Friend Lindsey here that night (phew!) on her way back to NY
Searching jobs again, but -
- so glad to be in school with a focus on what matters to whatever career I will have
ME this weekend for A+N's engagement party
Finished a fab weekend with friends, M+W, home gardening/cooking, shopping, and HW
Yes, HW!
Talk soon.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
(un)controlling
So the crazyness that was OSA this past week - 2 weeks - has hopefully sudsided for at least a couple of days. The idleness is ever present (until the boss reports back in a few days or so), but the efforts we put into some mediocre fundraising, and assembly of a tight press kit for our boss' Board Meeting yesterday is sufficient, in that's its finished; and in the words of my coworker (in a positive mindset here) "what can you do?"
What CAN you do? So much of our lives is uncontrollable - or is it? The law of attraction is a Newtonian-esque approach in that what we give, we get. I do not believe it is as absolute as the science describes, it is not always equal. But then again, humans are not equal or symmetrical like fixed objects; we are organic, free-flowing beings, made up of wonderfully systematic and methodical particles, particular to certain logistics, but overall we are evolving in ways beyond the mathematics of things.
My coworker was accurate in his pondering - we cannot control another person's actions; we can do our very best and give forth all we have, but at the end of the day, it is the combination of efforts in the workforce that generates a working progress. "What (else) can you do?" It was a defeating and uplifting sentiment all in one. My mother-in-law visited a couple weeks ago and shared a similar perspective I hope to carry always: "Enjoy today, because you are as young as you will ever be." The world shifts, things grow, people grow or remain stagnant. Reactions are important as when they do not happen, because a lack of response is an action in itself. Work-wise, the most I can do is my very best, and hope that the best outcome, the most honest outcome will reside for an organzation full of heart. Sometimes, we try our best, and the best result is whatever genuinely occurs after that fact.
School begins tomorrow, and I can't help but attribute this same feeling towards classes and the field in which I will work in the near future. As a therapist, it will not be a goal of mine to control what someone does. I can create timelines for our meetings, and offer them homework assignments to gain control over their own life. I can control the kind of rapport to a certain extent as well, but in the mind of MY actions. The best kind of relationship client-patient will not necessarily be fixed, but goals for it will be discussed during our first meeting(s). I may end up deflecting a client relationship when/if the (un)control enters the session work negatively. It could be best for the client's outlook that we are not working together in a professional setting. There may be a fine line between these difficult choices, but I believe the line is there - it may just take some proactive digging to define it.
Ultimately, I am in a great place. Whatever work is doing to me right now, I am doing to it. Despite the decisions made to continue (for the organziation, or for myself), as my boss puts it, "it's just a job." I can make the job of whatever I put in, and the same goes for my personal life. The dog is happy (and ever 'puppying' herself), the husband is well (and ever supporting me), and the future is reachable (however we choose to create it - like the choice to buy a house and have kids nearing). Life is good!
What CAN you do? So much of our lives is uncontrollable - or is it? The law of attraction is a Newtonian-esque approach in that what we give, we get. I do not believe it is as absolute as the science describes, it is not always equal. But then again, humans are not equal or symmetrical like fixed objects; we are organic, free-flowing beings, made up of wonderfully systematic and methodical particles, particular to certain logistics, but overall we are evolving in ways beyond the mathematics of things.
My coworker was accurate in his pondering - we cannot control another person's actions; we can do our very best and give forth all we have, but at the end of the day, it is the combination of efforts in the workforce that generates a working progress. "What (else) can you do?" It was a defeating and uplifting sentiment all in one. My mother-in-law visited a couple weeks ago and shared a similar perspective I hope to carry always: "Enjoy today, because you are as young as you will ever be." The world shifts, things grow, people grow or remain stagnant. Reactions are important as when they do not happen, because a lack of response is an action in itself. Work-wise, the most I can do is my very best, and hope that the best outcome, the most honest outcome will reside for an organzation full of heart. Sometimes, we try our best, and the best result is whatever genuinely occurs after that fact.
School begins tomorrow, and I can't help but attribute this same feeling towards classes and the field in which I will work in the near future. As a therapist, it will not be a goal of mine to control what someone does. I can create timelines for our meetings, and offer them homework assignments to gain control over their own life. I can control the kind of rapport to a certain extent as well, but in the mind of MY actions. The best kind of relationship client-patient will not necessarily be fixed, but goals for it will be discussed during our first meeting(s). I may end up deflecting a client relationship when/if the (un)control enters the session work negatively. It could be best for the client's outlook that we are not working together in a professional setting. There may be a fine line between these difficult choices, but I believe the line is there - it may just take some proactive digging to define it.
Ultimately, I am in a great place. Whatever work is doing to me right now, I am doing to it. Despite the decisions made to continue (for the organziation, or for myself), as my boss puts it, "it's just a job." I can make the job of whatever I put in, and the same goes for my personal life. The dog is happy (and ever 'puppying' herself), the husband is well (and ever supporting me), and the future is reachable (however we choose to create it - like the choice to buy a house and have kids nearing). Life is good!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
a leave of absence
I was going to title this blog "sabbatical," as there has been significant time off between now and my most recent rant. I was then going to title it "vacationland," - a quip on my excursions professionally, academically, personally, mentally, physically and so forth over the past couple of months, simultaneously highlighting Maine's glorious tag line that welcomes you as your cross the state. However, there was truly no vacationing as it would have indicated. Times are busier than ever -- in all the above listed areas! Synonyms for sabbatical included "withdrawal" which seemed too negative to pinpoint as my succinct return.
Leave of absence indicates the time, the multi-faceted presence of, well, absence. (Apparently my mind is still gone.) There has been a sufficient lack of schooling over the past two weeks - what does one expect of me when I do not type as often?! Work, however, has increased ten-fold. As mentioned last time, I am working with a struggling nonprofit, strengthened as I have learned, only by the passions among our staff - which is very few. We will be gaining a handful of interns for the summer, and will hopefully be welcoming back a couple of employees (who took their own leaves of absence - directly work related or no). This coming first week of May is our biggest fundraising effort yet. Not necessarily our biggest target for particular financials, but certainly our biggest output in getting our OSA name out there. Especially to the city of Philadelphia. What we're learning (ever slowly) is the harsh, hard feel of Philadelphians, residents and businesses alike, and figuring out our sell. Being so new to the City of Brotherly Love, OSA has mountains to climb before our name matters to these pholks. We're climbing, and hopefully after mid-May will still be on the ascent.
With more events and larger risks, my job at the organization has acquired a vast amount of responsibilities, including the daily reconnect with my boss who bases a lot the overall energy in the office on my disposition. A coworker happily referred to my attitude as a duck -- calm on the water, and feet paddling fiercly underneath -- which I felt was an apt analogy. I have always allowed my style of leadership to be second-to-one. Not to feel like I am inferior to another, but that my niche suits me well with that one supervisor a step ahead, or a step diagonally asking me for my better judgment. I feel in this niche with my boss, but as she intends to step back on her role for family, I figured the day was coming when she would propose a role shift for me to step even more into the "staff operations" limelight -- and today that day came. I have been given time to assess and report back to her; much of my decision will be based on the next few days in the office with pressures mounting on this week event we have beginning on Sunday. Today, I know that I do not desire the event-overseeing type of responsibilities with such a role, but I welcome the opportunity to manage. I am a bit of a vulnerable sap, and with the younger staff we have it may work to my advantage to develop this harder shell longitudinally.
I hope the following week brings us fortune in output, relationship-building, and sense of security. I trust that my thoughts at work and at home will offer me the chance to clarify my goals for our organization as a team and for myself.
I do not want to forget the kind of career I set out for myself when beginning school. Nonprofits thrill me in the their energy, but rebuilding one has been daunting. Acknowledging our stark weaknesses even more. I still believe what we create for our lives is as important as those who enter and shape it. Give me a bit more time on this, and I hope to create the life I want for me above anyone or anything else. Question is: will I most easily separate "me" from anything I create in regards to another entity like OSA?
Leave of absence indicates the time, the multi-faceted presence of, well, absence. (Apparently my mind is still gone.) There has been a sufficient lack of schooling over the past two weeks - what does one expect of me when I do not type as often?! Work, however, has increased ten-fold. As mentioned last time, I am working with a struggling nonprofit, strengthened as I have learned, only by the passions among our staff - which is very few. We will be gaining a handful of interns for the summer, and will hopefully be welcoming back a couple of employees (who took their own leaves of absence - directly work related or no). This coming first week of May is our biggest fundraising effort yet. Not necessarily our biggest target for particular financials, but certainly our biggest output in getting our OSA name out there. Especially to the city of Philadelphia. What we're learning (ever slowly) is the harsh, hard feel of Philadelphians, residents and businesses alike, and figuring out our sell. Being so new to the City of Brotherly Love, OSA has mountains to climb before our name matters to these pholks. We're climbing, and hopefully after mid-May will still be on the ascent.
With more events and larger risks, my job at the organization has acquired a vast amount of responsibilities, including the daily reconnect with my boss who bases a lot the overall energy in the office on my disposition. A coworker happily referred to my attitude as a duck -- calm on the water, and feet paddling fiercly underneath -- which I felt was an apt analogy. I have always allowed my style of leadership to be second-to-one. Not to feel like I am inferior to another, but that my niche suits me well with that one supervisor a step ahead, or a step diagonally asking me for my better judgment. I feel in this niche with my boss, but as she intends to step back on her role for family, I figured the day was coming when she would propose a role shift for me to step even more into the "staff operations" limelight -- and today that day came. I have been given time to assess and report back to her; much of my decision will be based on the next few days in the office with pressures mounting on this week event we have beginning on Sunday. Today, I know that I do not desire the event-overseeing type of responsibilities with such a role, but I welcome the opportunity to manage. I am a bit of a vulnerable sap, and with the younger staff we have it may work to my advantage to develop this harder shell longitudinally.
I hope the following week brings us fortune in output, relationship-building, and sense of security. I trust that my thoughts at work and at home will offer me the chance to clarify my goals for our organization as a team and for myself.
I do not want to forget the kind of career I set out for myself when beginning school. Nonprofits thrill me in the their energy, but rebuilding one has been daunting. Acknowledging our stark weaknesses even more. I still believe what we create for our lives is as important as those who enter and shape it. Give me a bit more time on this, and I hope to create the life I want for me above anyone or anything else. Question is: will I most easily separate "me" from anything I create in regards to another entity like OSA?
Friday, February 11, 2011
and then there was love
Hard to believe it's been over one month since I last made a post. "Busy" may be one of my mom's least favorite words, but for certain life has been chaotic these last four weeks!
Now over two weeks into February, and it's already smelling like Springtime. Who's in love, here? Yesterday alone, I was able to go to work in a skirt, jean jacket, and flats, beginning at 7am! Granted there's still small piles of snow on the ground, so it is a bit of a mystery outdoors..."Work", you say? Indeed, I am employed again (!) and it is a position at an organization that I get up excited to go to work for. I have even brought some things home to work on over weeknights, or checked into my email on the weekends to resolve any lingering issues, and I couldn't be happier with the kind of work that I am doing.
Some of you may remember from a previous post in December that I met with the woman who has been heading up the non-profit, Orphan Support Africa, by her lonesome essentially for the past year and a half. She met with me, and as it turned out, half a dozen other wonderfully, philanthropic individuals either also on "sabbatical" or seeking an altruistic component within their lives. As a result, we're now in working order to successfully turn OSA back around by obtaining great funding resources and initiate our Philadelphia connections, since the headquarters also moved relatively recently to the city of Brotherly Love. All in all, it's been an incredibly encouraging six weeks to be a part of something with which I can attribute self-worth and the worth of its cause.
Valentine's Day was this past week, also, and let me just provide a small recap of what we did. NOTHING. And this "NOTHING" is not written about angst or frustration, but the sort of "NOTHING" which indicates a glorious amount of timely waste involving only our existing love for each other, without the societally-driven incessant need to spend and prove it to each other. Don't get me wrong, I actually like the idea of Valentine's Day, but like most other holidays we celebrate, why just limit to that one day? Mike did actually make reservations for sushi on Sunday, and we trekked out to the barren Olde City for an early-bird meal. Quaint and tucked away, we walked into the restaurant, and did enjoy ourselves a night full of sashimi and some heavy, married discussions about our nearing future plans. As far as our usual date nights go, it was the norm -- and I don't consider that a bad thing. I think the specifications of what Valentine's is supposed to mean goes against how we treat each other all the time: as two loving partners enduring a life together. Following on Monday night, the actual V-day, was truly about nothing; we went to work, I went to class, I came home, and we passed out by 9:30. Real love at its finest.
(**Note: blogger reports I published this on 2/11, but it was in fact 2/19 - thus why the Valentine's Day stuff is written as "this past week"!)
Now over two weeks into February, and it's already smelling like Springtime. Who's in love, here? Yesterday alone, I was able to go to work in a skirt, jean jacket, and flats, beginning at 7am! Granted there's still small piles of snow on the ground, so it is a bit of a mystery outdoors..."Work", you say? Indeed, I am employed again (!) and it is a position at an organization that I get up excited to go to work for. I have even brought some things home to work on over weeknights, or checked into my email on the weekends to resolve any lingering issues, and I couldn't be happier with the kind of work that I am doing.
Some of you may remember from a previous post in December that I met with the woman who has been heading up the non-profit, Orphan Support Africa, by her lonesome essentially for the past year and a half. She met with me, and as it turned out, half a dozen other wonderfully, philanthropic individuals either also on "sabbatical" or seeking an altruistic component within their lives. As a result, we're now in working order to successfully turn OSA back around by obtaining great funding resources and initiate our Philadelphia connections, since the headquarters also moved relatively recently to the city of Brotherly Love. All in all, it's been an incredibly encouraging six weeks to be a part of something with which I can attribute self-worth and the worth of its cause.
Valentine's Day was this past week, also, and let me just provide a small recap of what we did. NOTHING. And this "NOTHING" is not written about angst or frustration, but the sort of "NOTHING" which indicates a glorious amount of timely waste involving only our existing love for each other, without the societally-driven incessant need to spend and prove it to each other. Don't get me wrong, I actually like the idea of Valentine's Day, but like most other holidays we celebrate, why just limit to that one day? Mike did actually make reservations for sushi on Sunday, and we trekked out to the barren Olde City for an early-bird meal. Quaint and tucked away, we walked into the restaurant, and did enjoy ourselves a night full of sashimi and some heavy, married discussions about our nearing future plans. As far as our usual date nights go, it was the norm -- and I don't consider that a bad thing. I think the specifications of what Valentine's is supposed to mean goes against how we treat each other all the time: as two loving partners enduring a life together. Following on Monday night, the actual V-day, was truly about nothing; we went to work, I went to class, I came home, and we passed out by 9:30. Real love at its finest.
(**Note: blogger reports I published this on 2/11, but it was in fact 2/19 - thus why the Valentine's Day stuff is written as "this past week"!)
Monday, January 10, 2011
just something about some things
Over a week into January?
School begun tonight. 3 classes this semester! Good, relaxing weekend past, hopefully the next, and then Boston for the 2nd to last of this first month.
A roast marinating tonight in the fridge, to be put in the crockpot for dinner tomorrow.
Windsor asleep on her bed, and Mike finishing up a football game before we call it a night.
Just some observances from my kitchen table, as I look forward to a full week!
School begun tonight. 3 classes this semester! Good, relaxing weekend past, hopefully the next, and then Boston for the 2nd to last of this first month.
A roast marinating tonight in the fridge, to be put in the crockpot for dinner tomorrow.
Windsor asleep on her bed, and Mike finishing up a football game before we call it a night.
Just some observances from my kitchen table, as I look forward to a full week!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
1+1+1+1 = ?
January 1st! Happy New Year. Apparently, I was anxiously awaiting this day to ensure that my writing another post would in fact happen in '11, and here it is. No worries, nothing of incredibly noteworthy importance, but it's nice to be sitting at my desk with a second cup of coffee at nearly 3pm, having been allowed to sleep until 11:30 this morning by my husband(!), and to be enjoying another two (well, 1.5 now) days of relaxing with Mike and the dog until the "Monday grind" begins again...
Well, Christmas was a wonderful collection of family and fun this year, as it normally is, but this year like Thanksgiving, our first as a bethrothed newlywed pairing. Windsor also really enjoyed getting to see her friend, Mike's family dog, over the break and teasing one another by dangling toys in front of each other to engage in a little "tag" and "chase." Mike's family also took her out two days in a row for some trail runs, tuckering her out nicely for our long commute on Sunday home! Much eating, much gift unwrapping, and many memories shared over a few days. Enjoyable to connect with other family members in Maine and across the country on 12.25, so another holiday season delightfully came to a close.
Is New Year's Eve a holiday season starter or end? Not sure, really. Our neighbor had to work last night, and it was her only holiday she'll have to work in 2011, so I guess it could be perceived as the beginning. And the with champagne drunk and kisses given after the ball drops, technically after the old year is washed away with confetti, we begin anew. However, there is all this anticipation to the NYE night. Sales at department stores highlighting insane percentage drops so sequin tops and platform shoes will be worn to your bustling event that culminates the former year. And aside from the numerical notation of this calendar transition, is no other night during the 12 months as spectacular? Perhaps not so much attention should be granted to the great division among years, but the energy which connects them.
Whether or not you believe the year is ending or the new year is beginning, whether or not you want to place your hopes in the resolutions of what is to be, or bask in the joys of what you have already accomplished, know this: The excitement which leads up to 11:59 and maintains after 12:00 is something that should be endured throughout Jan-Dec. If we could take the happiness and spirit between each changing year throughout our calendars, imagine all the possibilities for your life. Your school. Your home. Your family. Your goals, whatever they be. I only suggest living each morning hour into the afternoon, or the Mon- into Tuesday no matter what date, as if it were as special as the New Year instigates. Present moments enjoyed with nostalgic looks into what has been achieved, and with future mindsets engaged with a fervent purpose.
Well, Christmas was a wonderful collection of family and fun this year, as it normally is, but this year like Thanksgiving, our first as a bethrothed newlywed pairing. Windsor also really enjoyed getting to see her friend, Mike's family dog, over the break and teasing one another by dangling toys in front of each other to engage in a little "tag" and "chase." Mike's family also took her out two days in a row for some trail runs, tuckering her out nicely for our long commute on Sunday home! Much eating, much gift unwrapping, and many memories shared over a few days. Enjoyable to connect with other family members in Maine and across the country on 12.25, so another holiday season delightfully came to a close.
Is New Year's Eve a holiday season starter or end? Not sure, really. Our neighbor had to work last night, and it was her only holiday she'll have to work in 2011, so I guess it could be perceived as the beginning. And the with champagne drunk and kisses given after the ball drops, technically after the old year is washed away with confetti, we begin anew. However, there is all this anticipation to the NYE night. Sales at department stores highlighting insane percentage drops so sequin tops and platform shoes will be worn to your bustling event that culminates the former year. And aside from the numerical notation of this calendar transition, is no other night during the 12 months as spectacular? Perhaps not so much attention should be granted to the great division among years, but the energy which connects them.
Whether or not you believe the year is ending or the new year is beginning, whether or not you want to place your hopes in the resolutions of what is to be, or bask in the joys of what you have already accomplished, know this: The excitement which leads up to 11:59 and maintains after 12:00 is something that should be endured throughout Jan-Dec. If we could take the happiness and spirit between each changing year throughout our calendars, imagine all the possibilities for your life. Your school. Your home. Your family. Your goals, whatever they be. I only suggest living each morning hour into the afternoon, or the Mon- into Tuesday no matter what date, as if it were as special as the New Year instigates. Present moments enjoyed with nostalgic looks into what has been achieved, and with future mindsets engaged with a fervent purpose.
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